Withered and Weathered

when the need is greatest I stand alone
suffocating in the fog of my mind
no headlight nor spotlight
frees the angst of misty ties that still bind
resillience long tampered with brings faith weak with worry
as inhibited, unenchanting thoughts feverishly scurry
through the depths of those memories I called hope
I accept human nature for what it is - in this life ...a slippery slope

Letting Go

relief of finality
blessings of truth
nurturance of self
happiness for health
acceptance of denial
appreciation for what was
knowing not to step back
coordination of one - foot - in - front - of - the - other
wisdom to always follow intuition
excitement for fruition of pending dreams
contentment for what IS

(Repost from April 2009)

You came to me in a series of dreams over the past month. I nicknamed you Ella Blue because your eyes were more brilliant and blue than any I'd ever seen. You were mine and I was yours. I knew every inch of you and the bond was so great nothing could take you away from me. I knew every strand of your golden hair, every spec in your dark outlined blue eyes, every long curly eyelash, every dimple in your little fingers, every ringlet of chub around your wrists and your ankles, and mostly I knew the smile of your brilliant eyes and cherry red lips. We played in the sand building castles and dreams, we played in the grass and you laughed as you caught lady bugs and you tried to catch the birds but they were out of your grasp. I longed to catch one for you, if only for a moment in time. We laughed at the bunnies and at the squirrels and then each night I kissed you good bye. I knew that you'd be back, in my dreams and you were...many a night. That is until last night, you appeared as usual but in the end a woman appeard to take you away, you cried with your little arms outstretched reaching for me. I was held back by a force stronger than man and all at once you were gone. It was then that I awoke with tears in my eyes, trickling slowly down my face. Come back, Ella Blue.




xoxoxo

Whispers

I still dream of you
Isabella Blue
your whispers wake me
so I scan the room
still utterly shocked
you're just a dream
life is cruel - so it seems
you visit my slumber in the darkness of night
I can't escape you though I try with all my might
the girl in my dreams with bright blue eyes
is replaced with emptiness, and sad sighs
I'm dizzy in loss on this dark, paved road
tears trickle in the shadows of my quiet abode
cold shivers of regret, despair and fear
I'm cursing the disease that brought me here
cradling the nights alone in the dark
til morning sun tries to warm my heart
I hope up and look to a brand new day
where acceptance comes back and regret's at bay